Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Friends hurt us?

I have been going through a crisis in the last day and a half with reading some old comments on earlier blogs. I went back and looked at Getting Over It yesterday and that was probably my rawest posting so far. One of the hard things about blogging is that anyone can post a comment. And some hurtful and judgmental things were posted about that blog.
Now, I'd be really sad if people that didn't know who I was from being upset about moving to another country and losing my job and getting sick and anxious and depressed but being unable to work read the post. But I wouldn't be nearly as upset as if a close personal friend busted my chops about feeling anger towards the school board and church for what happened.
I'm working at being positive all the time. I've got no time for anyone's negativity. If you want to help me great. If you want to correct and judge me, I've got no time for you. I'm trying to get better. Maybe we can all learn how to suffer well together.
Chantal was great. I will talk about her later.
Moving forward!


  1. i agree, jody. sometimes friends are the most thoughtless people. i don't understand why that is, but maybe it's because they are the people i expect to be the most supportive and understanding. *sigh*

    learning how to suffer well together sounds like a better way than suffering alone. i'm glad i'm in this with y'all, even if they are very differnet situations and continents. =)

  2. I'm sorry you have had to deal with painful remarks by friends at a time when things are already difficult. I think sometimes people are trying to be helpful, but don't really understand that telling someone who is down that they're "wrong" and need to "shape up" is just not helpful, not in the least. If only it were that easy...but it isn't, and hearing things like that just makes it harder to deal with. Just makes you question yourself..."why IS it so hard for me? Should it be easier? Is something wrong with me?" But the truth that many people don't understand is, depression is NOT an easy thing to deal with, it's not just about getting over things. (BTW I do not think that you are wrong in your anger about your school situation, but that is a different point.)

    Just want you to know I'm thinking about you, Jill, and Lia, and praying for all of you.

  3. Thanks everybody. I think one of the least helpful people is a legalist, because they think the process is formulaic. The people who are following me are very helpful and kind, it's the odd lurker that gets me with "you shouldn't feel that way" or "that's wrong", etc.
    Forgiveness and suffering are not in any way straightforward. I think they're a little like grief and must be gone through in stages.

  4. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry to hear that some people have been so hurtful and to be blunt, sometimes people just suck!!

    I think about you and Jill a lot and I know you're going through such a tough time. Just know that you have many friends who love you both and you are always in our thoughts & prayers.

  5. well, jaime, you're right. they weren't friends, just people.
    thanks for your prayers and for reading this.