Thursday, May 6, 2010

Counting the Costs

So, what has it cost to continue living in this town? And you know I don't mean financial...
Generally, when most of us lose a job or break up with a lover, we pray not to see them again. Makes you sore all over, you know? The best thing you can usually do is move away so you don't have to see all the old spots, old friends, hear the favorite songs while riding around, or see your former students. That doesn't mean the town is bad. Just that there's so much baggage we don't need or want.
Well, since I lost my job in this foreign country I still see all those old people, cause we weren't able to move away. Saw the board chairman's(now principal?) wife in the mall and you shoulda seen them run! Wasn't going to speak anyway but there they were, almost running into me but trying frantically to ignore me.
I made some choices this past weekend as we finished a sermon series about Joseph. I more compare my life to Job but if anyone had reason to harbor grudges it was Joseph. So I've determined to say nothing else about the school-from staff, faculty, board, and church. They were all part of driving me out and stranding my family here. I choose to forgive-hopefully not blogging about them and participating in negative conversations count for that.
I'm also struggling with some mystery fatigue/anxiety illness that I can't seem to get well from. But I choose not to negatively mention the school and its associated parties anymore. To continue to hit myself in the head with the hammer and expect them to feel the headache is the definition of insanity.


  1. good on you, jody. i know it's not easy, but i'm proud of you for making that first step. i'll be praying with you about it, and looking forward to hearing how god works in this situation. =)

  2. Good for you, Jody. I think this must be a difficult choice to make, and it's not one of those you make once and you're done - it's one that you have to make every day, or week, or whenever the opportunity for negativity comes up. It won't always be easy and it won't always work, but overall, I imagine you will be a happier person for cutting out the negativity.

    I'll be praying for you for this, and also that you get well from the mystery illness you're dealing with.