I just want to stay home.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Still seeing the Enemy
I thought I was through discussing the school I worked for here but I guess not. I seem to keep running into people that worked there or had dealings with me as principal and just wish I could disappear. I rehearse all the things I did during that one year of work and always feel that I did what God would have me do, and yet when I see someone, I always feel ashamed. I responded with integrity and prudence and still feel embarrassed. I put up a quote from Buddy Hackett recently about not holding a grudge cause it's only hurting me. The other person is dancing. I don't want them to suffer or even acknowledge that they've done wrong. I just want to feel that I did my best there and that God approves. But God is very quiet. And even those old "friends" all feel like enemies now.
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I liked the Hackett quote. I learned from a coworker who had a great way of dealing with what should have been awkward -- he carried on as if nothing ever happened. Just treat those folks as if they were old friends you're happy to see and they'll assume they are.
ReplyDeleteOne of the biggest things that you ever taught me was about the victim mentality. Since hearing the things you had to say about that I have constantly been looking for those types of mindsets. They are much easier to see than i ever thought they would be. But more than to look for those attitudes I have learned the most important way to avoid feeling like the victim. The one thing that i have learned about not having a victim mentality, is that i am only performing for ONE person in my life, as long as the one person (God) approves of how i am living and of my actions and as long as I am satisfied with pleasing him then i cannot fall victim to any one elses guilt or disapproval. I know it maybe a little late but i want to let you know that i learned so much from you and there are still times(frequently) when things you said come back to me... thanks! remember to be confident in who you are and in the decisions that you have or that you do make... as long as you and God are satisfied nothing else matters!! !miss you
ReplyDeletethanks for the comment. it's been a long time and that was a good time of life for a lot of us. i enjoyed the thinking we all had to do together.
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